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family life
Mandy Inchaustegui
Mandy loves helping others to live passionate and full lives, and to add value to the world around them. She is convicted that it begins first with her husband, Anthony, and two sons, Xander and Elijah. |
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Sometimes, I want to quit. It’s not that I’m lazy…I’m just weary. For me, it’s natural when I find myself at the end of everything, to drift to pursuing meaning in things that are immediate and temporal. Yet, I repeatedly find that I’m still searching. I wonder, “Isn’t there more to life than this?”
As a mom of two small children, these moments happen more often than I’d like to admit. Sometimes I step back and think, “If this was on a sit-com, it would be hys-terical. But it’s my life and I am NOT laughing.”
I’ve been having my fair share of those lately. One of my most recent favorites is catching my three-year-old’s puke in my hands, trying to protect the couch, because I thought his, “Mommy, I don’t feel good,” was just his way of trying to get out of picking up his toys. Again, the thought, “There HAS to be more to life!”
I spent a lot of time before I had kids seeking to discover who I was. Who am I? What do I want to do with my life? How I am uniquely wired to add value to the world? I searched the Scriptures for some answers to those questions. As a follower of Jesus, I wanted my passions to be His passions, His cares, my cares and His focus, my focus. As I discovered more about who God is, I discovered even more about myself. As I lived my life, I realized that I felt most fully alive when I was giving my life away, serving those around me with intentionality and purpose.
On every page of the Scriptures is a God intentionally on a mission to love the world by giving life, hope, and freedom. As this is God’s mission, and as I choose to follow Him, I long for this to become my mission as well. All my uniqueness – my personality, my passions, my dreams – is purposed for mission.This was true before I had kids. It’s true now that I have them. And it will still be true after they’re grown and out of our home.
My greatest dream for my children is that they will follow hard after Jesus. Above all else, I want my kids to know the heart of God. I want them to understand His mission to love people, drawing them to Himself. I want them to know what it is to serve humanity with their lives. I want them to know what it is to be fully alive, living their passions and their dreams.
Though I want to focus everything to be on mission for the world, I have those days when my infant doesn’t take his nap, my older child destroys the carpet or my dog runs off and I can swear he’s looking back at me, laughing. Being a parent, running a home and just getting life “done” can be overwhelming at best and paralyzing at worst. I often find myself just hanging on, in survival mode, trying to get through the day, the week, maybe the month and, if we’re lucky, the year.
Though there are days I fall into survival mode, I am determined to live a passionate and compelling life as much as possible, bringing my children with me. As we live this out together, we all discover the beauty that is found when we give our lives away.
I’m often pondering the, “Why?” behind whatever I’m doing. What’s the purpose? What’s the focus? Who is this serving? I feel like it’s the asking of these questions that helps me to be more intentional with the course and actions of my life. The Scriptures tell me that it’s important to not only live life with your kids but to also talk about the “why” behind why we do what we do.
We talk about why we visit our homebound neighbor, Emiko, and how she believes in Buddha and astrology. We talk about why Dalia, another neighbor, came to the house crying and why we should paint her a picture to brighten her day. We talk about why people are homeless and what we can do about it. We talk about why Dad goes to Celebrate Recovery meetings with other men. We talk about why we take cookies to our neighbors that just moved in. We talk about why we go to the Mayan nightclub for church every Sunday night and greet people as they walk into the building. We talk about what the songs are saying, the story the short films are telling, and the truth that the dance is representing. We talk about why our friends live in other parts of the world, loving the people there. We live. We talk. We move on mission together.
We’re also going to throw a party! Our baby, Elijah, just turned one year old and, to be honest, life would be easier if we just had a small family celebration. He doesn’t care, right? However, it’s just too good of a missional opportunity to pass up! We’ve been living here for about two years, building relationships with our neighbors. Elijah’s life began with some complications that created an intense gratitude in us that he is a healthy baby. His life, to me, represents hope, healing and grace. We have much to celebrate and be thankful for. So, we’re going to celebrate…intentionally! It’s kind of for Elijah. But it’s mostly for our neighbors. We’ve invited many friends from our faith community but are having it here at our apartment so that it’s as easy as possible for our neighbors to come. We’re planning on stopping in the middle to have a “baby dedication” and tell the story of Elijah’s birth, including all the complications, God’s faithfulness to our family, and our desire to raise him knowing the unique potential he has to create good in the world. We want everyone to see the hope that comes through a community of family and friends who have supported us through all of this and who are committed to supporting us as we continue to raise our son. I guess this is just another way to invite our friends into our faith community. Even a birthday party can be intentionally designed to help begin a spiritual conversation with someone who is far from God.
Right now, this is what “The Inchausteguis on mission” looks like. Two years from now, as our family changes, I know it’ll look different. We are committed to discovering what this looks like as our family continues to grow and change. On those days when I grow weary with the daily responsibilities of parenting, I need this reminder of why we are here and do what we do. This keeps me dreaming, hoping and living fully alive.
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ministries