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what i learned from chick flicks
by Krysta Rinke
Krysta is a Kansan turned Angeleno using the corporate world to create a better future for humanity. | |  |
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When I watch a chick flick, I’m always drawn to the leading lady. I am captivated by her independence, power and the allure that makes you want to know more about who she is. There is just something about her that is mysteriously intriguing. Underneath all of the prestige, however, she is always battling something that, if discovered, could possibly ruin her. I’m drawn to this too. That is the part of her I can identify with so deeply. Consequently, it is also the part that appears most authentic and understandable in her convincing persona of having the life we all want.
After I moved to L.A. a year and a half ago from Kansas, I felt the pain that transitions often bring and an undeniable disappointment that perhaps I wasn’t as strong and independent as I had always thought I was.
I wanted to be fearless. I wanted to be able to tell a great story about my new life, but something wasn’t right. It appeared from the outside that I was living the life of my dreams, but I was terrified. What if I wasn’t good enough? What if I’m wrong about this whole idea and have to return to Kansas?
This part was never mentioned in the movies I grew to love. No one told me that the leading lady made great sacrifices to get to the place where her life would inspire others, nor did they tell me how lonely it was going to be if I didn’t follow the mold.
My friends would call me from home and say, “You’re really doing it!” I would always respond in frustration in my mind, “Doing what?! I don’t feel like I’m doing anything!”
I’m getting to a place now, however, that I’m starting to see how this is all playing into my own story. Not one that I’ve seen a million times on the big screen, but one that perhaps will inspire a new generation of hopefuls.
Much like the leading lady, I find myself energized and yet disturbed at the same time by the reality that crashes into me as I walk along the streets of Los Angeles. There are days when it shakes me and causes me to drop all that I’ve been clinging to. Those are the days when reality catches me so off guard that I quickly gather my things in an attempt to seem too busy to notice. I walk away frazzled and peer over my shoulder at a lost opportunity and then kick myself for being such a wimp. There are also days when I look up and recognize the opportunity to do something greater. These are the moments when I am invited to walk into something far bigger than myself. It is also here that I am greeted by a broken humanity that needs me to fight harder. And I will.
I’m proud that both the people of L.A. and Mosaic are a part of my story now. It is here that I have embraced a deeply held desire to love even if it costs me the life I once held onto so tightly.
Perhaps that has always been the leading lady’s struggle. She tries to do everything alone. While this has always been an attractive characteristic with my “Miss Independent” personality, I’m glad that my attempts to emulate her life were interrupted. As it turns out, I don’t wish for her story now that I’ve found what was missing in my own. Besides, it’s simply unrealistic to look perfect when juggling groceries, a brief case and the quintessential latte from Starbucks on the busy streets of L.A … in heels.
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